When she misses her “real” mom

For any of us that are raising children of divorced or separated parents, we all know that horrible feeling when you hear your little one crying in their bedroom because they miss their mom or dad. Tonight about a half hour after tucking Tutz in, I hear her crying to herself in her bedroom. She didn’t come get us, didn’t say anything was wrong, just hugged her bear and cried to herself in her bedroom. I went in to see what was wrong and she said that heartbreaking sentence I know all too well; “I miss my mom.” Apparently this particular teddy bear that she chose to snuggle with tonight just happened to be a bear that her mom had bought her. That of course had reminded her of how much she missed her mother and wonder when she would see her again. I went in and laid next to her with my arms around her, knowing the pain that she was feeling by not being able to see her mother whenever she wanted. I said to her, what I had needed to hear all of those years growing up needing the same comfort when I had missed my parents. I held her and said, not matter where you are or which one of us you are with, you are always completely loved by all of us. We all miss you when you are gone but we also all want you to spend time with both of your families because we want you to be happy.  I said “I know how you feel, its extremely hard and feels completely unfair that your parents are not together, or that you’re split amongst multiple homes, weekends, holidays, etc. but you know what I think…. we were one of the lucky ones!” “See we got to grow up with multiple families, multiple people that loves us, multiple houses, Christmases, birthdays, etc.” I hugged her and told her what it took me over 30 years to finally believe. That although it may be challenging, painful and at times feels we were unfortunate because of these circumstances, in reality we were actually blessed.Depositphotos_151986124_original.jpg

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